That Bitch Called Breakup

Recently, I have been inspired by my absolute best friend to write this post...about break ups. Your mental and emotional health can take a severe blow when experiencing a break up. Everything that you thought you knew, everything you became accustomed to, is now not your reality anymore. Instead, you have a new reality; one that consists of heart-ache, confusion, questioning, wondering, doubt and a plethora of other unpleasant and damaging feelings. 

Now, in my opinion, you have two options. You're presented with two paths.

One in which you can diminish your self-worth and go over every little tiny detail, everything that went wrong...OR you can learn from the experience and blossom into the refurbished you, the one with a shiny new perspective. Choosing between these two paths may seem easy when explained in this way. However, when the decision transpires, unfortunately, many choose the first option. 

The length of time the relationship lasted, the intensity of feelings, the presence or non-presence of sexual intimacy, metamorphic life experiences and abuse are all relevant factors that determine the difficulty post-breakup. *** (If you have experienced any form of relationship abuse: sexual, physical, emotional, neglect etc. tell an adult and solicit the help of a professional immediately.) I am not going to claim that every break up should be treated the same. Maybe this advice can not be useful for all situations. But I will speak in general terms about the rebuilding process that occurs after such a heartbreaking event.

I have a boyfriend who I am passionately in love with. Each day my love for him and for us grows. When you share such an extraordinary love like that of which we share, you become susceptible to the idea that your person "completes you." This suggests that before you met this person, you were an incomplete human being, that you were not a "whole" person before this! Rather than allowing yourself to think this way, know that you are perfectly capable of living life ON YOUR OWN. You did it for years before you met this person or fell in love. Many times, life seems unimaginable without that person by your side. It is important to remember that you have lived life without them before, you can always learn to do it again. I always tell my boyfriend. "You do not complete me. You compliment me." 

First step: Recognize that your life requires a new direction. No use dwelling on the fruitless questions such as, "Why was I not good enough?"

Next: Switch it up! Find a new hobby. Join a gym. Attend fitness classes such as Yoga or Zumba! Read a new book or reread a beloved old one. Take cooking classes. Surround yourself with friends who will instill confidence and supply fun and adventure. Join a club at school. Volunteer for a local charity. Start watching a new television series. Go swimming or bike riding. Paint! Redecorate your space, (***especially if it is filled with memories of your ex) perhaps Feng Shui. Write in a diary. (Writing can be very therapeutic. I find that writing down my thoughts cleanses my being and can serve as an archive to look back on. When you are feeling down, reviewing a positive journal entry can brighten your day!)

Remember: It is okay, beneficial even, to ask for help. Find someone you can trust. Someone whose opinion matters to you. Someone who knows you in and out. Someone who will guide you in a healthy direction when you do not have the capacity to do so yourself. Whether this be calling your best friend, talking to a parent /guardian, pursuing the advice of a counselor; seeking help demonstrates personal willpower and humility. 

Set goals for yourself! This way you have something other than the break up to focus on. My friend who just met that b*tch named Breakup is struggling to find a fresh path. I suggested to utilize the bad feelings to create a game if you will. Mark on your calendar every day that you shut the door to that dark place, every day that you turn away from those feelings that just get you down. Every time you turn away and eliminate the toxins from your life, mark an X. If you end up breaking your streak, it will devastate you. Eventually you will not want to break it! This way you have something tangible that proves your progress. If you wish to truly treat yourself, instead of a mark on the calendar, add money to a jar. Once your jar becomes filled, spend the money on a YOU day. Buy a nice outfit that makes you feel invincible. Pay a visit to the salon and get your toes did. Or buy the latest apple product you have been eyeing for weeks. 

There will be some good days and some bad days. Accept the bad days for what they are and tell yourself that tomorrow will be better. 

One is not defined by their relationships alone. To quote my favorite book Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer, "The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun." (This would be a wonderful recommendation for that new book you wish to read!!!)

Discover your new sun! Take the time you need to replenish and nurture your emotional and mental health, because it is important. Focus, you can do this!

Stay "whole." Health is the true wealth my friends. 

Elsie <3

Zzzzzzzzzz

Hello, my name is Elsie. And I am a sleep addict. 

I awoke from my peaceful slumber right at the crack of 12:45 pm today. Granted, I stayed up very late last night creating this blog. Once I published my first post, the butterflies began to flutter. I don't know what it was. ?? I couldn't sleep!! Which is EXTREMELY uncharacteristic of a sleep addict. I would equate my nervous/excited sensation to that feeling I got after I just received that first special kiss. You are excited that it happened, but also hesitant and skeptical of the direction it will take. 

Now I would not have stayed up so late if I did not know that I could sleep in this morning. When I have class or something scheduled for the next morning, I always make sure I will have AT LEAST 7 hours of sleep. Though, I prefer 8. 

In your college years, sleep becomes an elusive entity that is somehow always just out of reach. If you have an exam the following day, sleep is irrelevant. You find yourself at Club Lib and your books and notes become your companions. As well as our good trusty old friend, Mr. Starbucks. 

According to the published work of Harvard Medical School, "a sleep-deprived person cannot focus attention optimally and therefore cannot learn efficiently." Is that not what we are striving to do in college? Learn? So if you do not possess the capacity to retain information because you are sleep deprived, then this whole learning thing is going to prove to be much more difficult than you want. 

Research demonstrates that 'good' sleep is vital to our health. In the words of HealthyPeople, "Adequate sleep is necessary to fight off infection, support metabolism..., perform well in school, and work efficiently and safely." Those that are sleep deprived have been linked to several health symptoms that resemble depression, increased risk of heart attack and decreases in immune system strength. We all know what happened to the test subjects of the Russian Sleep Experiment. (This experiment is considered to be unethical by today's standards. Viewer discretion is advised. You may determine if you believe this experiment to be fact or fiction based. If you simply Google search, many other results will appear.) 

 Now I am not going to say that you have the ability to sleep 8 hours every night. I study at a university; I know how it is guys. You justify with yourself and think, "Oh, I can take this exam after only 4 hours of sleep." Which if you can pass an exam with little to no sleep, I deem you inhuman! A demi-god such as Thor perhaps! I simply can't do it. I can not even function before the hour of 10 am. That is why I enjoy the fact that I can choose my own class schedule. An 8 am lecture for me is nothing less than a bad joke.

That is why I did not arise from my chambers until 12:45 pm on this lovely day. Many may argue that waking up that late is a "waste of your day." I debate that maintaining my health is NEVER a waste of my time. 

 Once again, always exceptions to the rule. If you have a billion things to do that day, then sleeping in till 12:45 is inadvisable. Know your limits. And if you feel you are at your limit and are in dire need of a nap DO it! TAKE ONE! It has been proven that a 10 minute power nap can do wonders for your body! I know disrupting a schedule can be a struggle, but only 10 minutes will not kill you! Rather it will make you feel better! It can help control stress.  

Don't hate on sleep guys. Do not overlook such an imperative benefactor!

Well time to start my day. Remember, stay whole! Live whole and prosper! 

Elsie <3

The Beginning...

Attempting to start this blog has proven to be a challenge. I have so many ideas and so many thoughts that I wish to share but just like any piece of written work, the beginning always proves to be the most difficult part. Just like sitting down to write an essay. That blank, seemingly harmless, Word document suddenly morphs into this tremendous precipice that you must ascend. It scoffs at your strength and it impugns your intelligence. You feel completely unprepared. But the only way to climb it is by simply taking the first advance. You just have to start! 

I have thought of writing a blog for awhile now. At the beginning of this school year, an overwhelming sense of discouragement befell me. I felt unmotivated and uninterested with my studies. I needed something! Something to which I could dedicate my time. Something that I felt, mattered. I really enjoy writing. Writing takes me to a safe place, to my sweet disposition. There is a diary that sits on my desk; a modest rose colored book filled with my most intimate thoughts, scribbled poems, hailed quotes, sacred documents written at the wee hours of the night. When I am feeling especially inspired and confident I might discover the courage to share one of my poems. However, this confidence does not come often. 

So, I figured a blog is a little less personal way to share my writing and thoughts. 

My blog will be about my ideas of how to live a healthy, "whole" and "prosperous" lifestyle. During these college years, I find that health, many times, gets put on the back burner. Which I really can't understand why this happens. To me, good over-all health and a firm feeling of well-being is crucial to finding happiness in this life. Another day of life to me is equivalent to receiving a precious gift. It is a priceless fortune, one beyond any monetary value. I never wish to throw that gift away. 

So in attempt to give thanks for this life, I plan to keep myself healthy, to maintain my "wholeness." Health comes in many forms: physical (the most common idea of this complexity), mental, sexual, emotional, etc. Often someone will maintain a balanced diet and make regular trips to the gym, but they neglect their mental health. They neglect the fact that having peace of mind is also a health essential. Together, we shall fix this epidemic!!

I aspire to aid all of you that sometimes disregard the importance of living as a whole human being. I wish to give you a helping hand in keeping your health high on the priority list. I wish to demonstrate this task in an easy, budget friendly way. I hope this blog can be a place for you to turn to. 

Well, here it goes! 

Stay golden! Live whole and prosper!

Elsie <3